Player Profile: Joe "The Body" Duran

Full Birth Name: Joseph Montgomery Duran

Full Muslim Name: Jaffar Diya Al-Din

Majors: Boss Hogging, Finance

Hobbies: Broing up parties with C4 explosives, securing legend status, getting ink in The Student, raking at the dish, dome scoring in the 99th percentile, clowing on Sig Ep's, grinding at Brick, chillin up in the cut, trying to figure out why all GDI's are faggots, doing work on King Library

Biggest MLBPB momemt: I've only had two moments: dropping 10 in the first inning last year & 27 on DG's crew

Beer of Choice: Busch Light- known as "skeets or brarns"

Favorite Places: In the cut, Brick Street

What's your idea of a perfect Friday night?
"You know when you're with your crew all up in the cut and shit and everybody's just chilling and shit."

What are your expectations for the season?
"Roast Beef to the Floor was cracking skills last season before the league folded. I expect to drop 30 runs in multiple games and make my second straight all-star weekend."

How do you and Jeff work as a team?
"There's no question that Jeff is one of the best run producers in the game. My job is to manufacture those runs. I try to get myself on base and extend rallies. I focus on my base running and that's why I finish at the top of the league every year in runs scored and on-base percentage."

What's the background behind your team name - The Has-Beens?
"Jeff and I were fortunate enough to win an all-campus championship over the Has-Beens in flag football our sophomore year. While I;m not the player I was in '06, when the lgihts go on and Akon's in my ear - I start to feel young again."

Who do you envision as your competition this year"
"Jeff and I expect to win every game - I don't see any team that can beat us when we are on."

Who is your inspiration?
God, my family, and DisOrder